Chismorrear,
independientemente del tema, este problema que consiste en hablar de forma
negativa de alguien que no está presente y por ende no puede ejercitar ninguna
oposición en la comunicación. Las personas que realizan esto, tienen un simple
problema, ¿Quién nos dice que 5 minutos después esa misma persona no hablará
mal de nosotros? ¿Quién querrá escucharte?
JUZGAR
Fácil
y para todos los lectores, se convierte en algo realmente difícil para
cualquier oyente u emisor, saber que esa persona juzgará cualquier respuesta,
incluso podemos llegar a sentirnos deficientes o incompetentes.
Quieres
que te escuchen, recuerda; no todas las personas tenemos las mismas emociones, e
incluso ante un mismo acontecimiento tenemos percepciones emocionales diferentes.
Como
vas a saber lo que duelen los pies al andar en tacones, si nunca has usado uno
de ellos, pero incluso si los usaste seguro que no eran los mismos que la
persona que te lo cuenta, ni el día era igual, ni tu eres esa persona.
Por
eso NO JUZGUES, y serás ESCUCHADO, JUZGA y serás IGNORADO
NEGATIVIDAD
El
arte de amargarse la vida (Editorial Herder), describe las formas en que el ser
humano consigue negativizar su vida a través del pensamiento. Según este,
"una vida amargada la puede llevar cualquiera, pero amargarse la vida a
propósito es un arte que se aprende, no basta con tener alguna experiencia
personal con un par de contratiempos.
Las
personas negativas tienen una actitud de permanente pesimismo, suelen ser
excesivamente sarcásticos con respecto a ideas o proyecto que se les plantee,
ya que tienden a centrarse y ver los defectos en todas las situaciones y
personas a su alrededor y hablar mal de lo que no les gusta.
Es
ese punto el que debemos evitar, si sólo nos quejamos será difícil encontrar a
alguien que quiera atiborrarse de negatividad y agotar su energía.
QUEJARSE
La
queja es un mal hábito es en sí mismo una forma diferente de negatividad,
además produce viralidad.
Es evidente que una persona que se queja en vez de
proponer soluciones ante los problemas, son tóxicos, lo cual produce rechazo
sobre el oyente.
EXCUSAS
Quien
no conoce a un “lanzaculpas” esa gente que pone pretextos y reparte culpas como
quien estuviera en un casino de croupier, hasta incluso quizá nosotros mismos
hemos tratado de excusarnos, de disculparnos y hasta echarle la culpa a alguien
más por irresponsabildiades que nos correspondían a nosotros directamente.
Si
usas evasivas y alegatos, disponte a ser sólo parte del ambiente.
REBUSCAMIENTO O EXAGERACIÓN
En
ocasiones degradamos tanto el lenguaje enfatizando o calificando que nos
quedamos sin vocabulario, por ejemplo, si algo es impresionante como lo vamos a
diferenciar de otra cosa impresionante, ¿cómo lo llamaremos?
Y como diría el
maestro Yoda; "el rebuscamiento lleva a la exageración, la exageración a la
mentira y la mentira al lado oscuro, a que nadie nos escuche".
DOGMATISMO
La prolifera confusión
entre los hechos y las opiniones. Cuando ambos conflictos entran en conflicto,
nuestra conversación se torna en puro viento para el oyente.
Porque puede a ver
algo más pesado que un bombardeo continuo de opiniones con la categoría de
verdad universal, la única del planeta, aunque sólo sea un mera opinión
dogmática, esa clásica que empieza por “la normalidad”, “lo que la gente hace”,
seguro que las han usado y escuchado, y realmente es difícil escuchar a alguien
que habla en tono pontificado. ¿Por qué al final sólo era una opinión exagerada
o no?
Sólo si quieres mi opinión
Aún
me sigues leyendo… si lo has logrado y no he pasado a formar parte del ruido te
diré que puedes mejorar una vez hayas encontrado tus problemas, tus pecados
oratorios. Recuerda el decálogo para que tu voz cuente:
- Sé honesto y claro al hablar y
estricto en tu vocabulario, pero nunca seas extremo en estos aspectos, ya que
podrías caer en la negatividad. En el punto está la perfecta cocción.
- Sé autentico, piensa por ti
mismo, hazte una opinión una vez tengas toda la información que querías.
- Tú integridad es tu guía.
Y la clave de toda comunicación es: Desea el bien a las personas,
porque es muy difícil desear el bien y juzgar al mismo tiempo.
--------------------ENGLISH VERSION-----------------------------
The human voice is one of the most powerful
sounds in the world, it is just a simple gesture, consisting of blowing
adequate airflow to vocal cords then these vibrate. This action may start a war
or melt the ice heart of a man.
However many people feel ignored when they
speak. They feel that when they are talking they are merely noise. They are confused
with the environment. Why is this happening? How can we speak powerfully to be heard? And being even more ambitious;
How can we speak to bring about a real change in the world?
So when we are talking about something for
example emotions, about listening, about non-verbal communication, we should focus
in ourselves. We should observe and be self-critical with our performance but
we must be cautious and optimistic because it is easy to be pessimistic and we
can believe that we can’t improve our skills because we are terrible but this
isn’t true. Anyone are as bad as doing something as we believe and even a
quarter of what they are doing. In short, someone intelligent, not me, said “if
you want to change the world start with yourself”.
This is the first step if you want achieve
something, doesn’t matter what you want to achieve, this is the focus where you
must focus. So we should focus on errors, problems or fixation that we have to
speak. Perhaps we have just fallen in some of them or perhaps we often fall
back. No matter how ready we are but maybe now we have the keys to understand
why other people can’t heard us and then we can change their perception, we can
stop being part of the noisy to become a true opinion.
THE SPEAKING CAPITAL SINS
The following are the speaking capital
sins, they are many, they are common, they are elusive and we commit them
because they are powerful but we can overcome them.
GOSSIP
Regardless
of the topic, gossiping is a problem. This problem consists in speaking ill if
somebody is not present and therefore who can’t do any opposition. It isn’t a
nice habit and we know perfectly the person gossiping five minutes later will
be gossiping about us.
JUDGE
We
know people who it’s very hard to listen somebody if you know that you are
being judged and found wanting at the same time. If you want people
hear you.
You should remember this. Not all people
have the same emotions and even at the same event we have different emotional
perceptions and reactions.
As you will know how hurt your feet when you walk in
high heels if you have never used one, but even if you used them, they were not
the same as the person who told you and even you are the same person.
In
short, don’t jugde and people will listen you. Judge and you will be ignored.
NEGATIVITY
You
can fall into this. My grandfather in the last year of his life became very
very negative. It’s hard to listen. I remember one day I said her “It’s the
first of October today and she said “I knows, It’s dreadful”. It’s hard to
listen when somebody is that negative
COMPLAIN
An another form of negativity is complaining. This is the national art
of Spain or UK. It’s a national sport, we complain about the weather, about sport,
about politics, about everything but actually complaining is a viral misery. It’s
not spreading sunshine and lightness in the world.
EXCUSES
All
of us have met this guy and maybe we will be this guy. Some people have a blame
thrower.
They just pass it on to everybody else and they don’t take responsibility
for their actions and again it’s hard to listen to somebody is being like that.
LYING OR EXAGGERATION
Actually
our language is degraded. For example If I see something that really is awesome
how do I call it?
And then of course this exaggeration becomes lying out and we
don’t want to listen people we know, they are lying to us.
DOGMATISM
The confusion of fact with opinions when these two things are confused.
You are listening into the wind. You know when somebody is bombarding you with
their opinions as if they were true. It’s difficult to listen
that.
HOW TO OVERCOME OUR SINS
Are you still reading? If you have accomplished, and I haven’t become a
part of the noise around you.
I will say what you can improve to fight against
your problems and sins. I would like to suggest that there are four really
powerful cornerstones, foundations that we can stand on if we want a speech to
be powerful and to make change in the world.
Fortunately these things form the word. What is HAIL and it has a great
definition as well I am not about the stuff that falls from the sky and hit you
on the head.I am talking about this definition;To greet or claim enthusiastically which is a think how well it will be
received if we stand on these four things so what do they stand for.
Honesty, be true in what you say, be straight and unclear.
Auntheticy, just be yourself. A friend of mine described it is standing
in your own truth.
Integrity, be your word, actually doing what you say and be somebody
people can trust.
Love, I don’t mean romantic love but I do mean wish people well for two
reasons.
- I
think absolute honesty may not what we want to me but if it is tempered with
love, of course honesty is a great thing.
- But
also if you are really wishing somebody well it is very hard to judge them at
the same time. I am not sure you can do those two things simultaneously.
1/07/2016 Agustin Calvo Rea
Fuentes: Julian Treasure
